Michael Suchman and Ethan Ciment

45; vegan 6 years; hometown Brooklyn, NY

44; vegan 7 years; hometown Brooklyn, NY

 

E: “After I went vegan, like many people who go vegan for the animals and not health or the environment, I became somewhat obsessed and vegan-gelical. Everything was death and murder around me. It was really hard to stomach it, particularly coming home and my husband is sitting there chowing down on some-one while I’m eating some-thing. I was watching PETA video, not realizing ‘Hey dude, you’ve already made the transition. You don’t need to keep torturing yourself. It’s not going to bring anyone back if you keep watching these things and making yourself upset.’ But on some level, I wanted Michael to be watching it, so I kept pushing and pushing. The more I would push him, the more he would go away and I was getting really frustrated. I knew that this all aligned with the way he thought about the world and the way he thought about animals. He loved animals. It was like, ‘Why can’t he wake up? Why can’t he see what I see?’

 

“It was only when I threw my hands up and said, ‘Well look, this was a for-better-or-worse situation we committed to, and I’m the one who changed in the relationship, not he. And so I’m gonna step back and say Whatever. If he’s never vegan, he’s never vegan.’ I just sort of backed off, knowing that he was still cooking vegan for me. As soon as I backed off, it created the space for him to come closer to it and start taking a closer look. That was a really important lesson. I mean, think physically, if you push a person, what are you doing? You’re pushing them away from you. But if you  walk away, you create space for them to come in and come toward you.”

 

Photo by Holly Feral